Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
