If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
