It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
