i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
