i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
