Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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