I don't think brook has ever known best
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
