No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
