and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
