How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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