I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
