there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
