so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
