Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
