accomplished twins. life is a go
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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