FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
