I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
