How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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