Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
