At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
