I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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