so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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