so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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