barbara walters just said penis...
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
