alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
