Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
