Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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