can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
