drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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