I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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