i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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