he wants to bone in the snuggie
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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