so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
