just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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