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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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