Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
