I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
