He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
