Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
