please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Just cropdusted the office
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
