If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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