Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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