Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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