from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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