I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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