The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
