sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
