ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
its liver damage thursday
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
