Well douche your snatch and let's go!
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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