from now on my penis is your penis
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
