Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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