No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
