paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
