I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
