So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
