I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
COCAINE IS GR8
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
